People who are afraid of commitment (to a relationship, a business, their own careers, a change of life, taking up a party membership or a mortgage, to name but a few) think falsely that they are protecting themselves from a bad future. But nothing could be further from the truth. Find out just how commitment sets you free, empowers you and gives you back your destiny!
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Overcoming Fear Of Commitment
This is an interesting thing, whether you have a fear of commitment yourself, or whether you are trying to get another to overcome their fear of commitment.
Here's the deal.
People won't "commit" to this, that or the other, and that could be anything from marriage to moving in with each other, from starting a business to starting a diet, to the AA or the church, or even to loving their children, because they are TERRIFIED.
They are terrified of selling their soul to the devil, their life down the drain, and becoming helpless slaves to whomever and whatever.
That's the fear of commitment, best summed up by the old proverb "Out of the frying pan, and into the fire."
But there is one thing that people who suffer from fear of commitment don't understand.
They do NOT retain their power by refusing to commit. Commiting means, in case you don't know, to MAKE UP YOUR MIND and make a decision, either way.
Let's take the most common example, that of men not wanting to commit to marriage.
They think that they retain their FREEDOM by not commiting; not deciding to go forward into this marriage, and I'm afraid that they don't.
Instead of real freedom, they find themselves in nowhere land, an uncomfortable place of insecurity that is neither one thing, nor the other.
The true power and the freedom that results from this true power is to be ABLE TO MAKE A DECISION.
That's what commitment is all about.
Because it works like this: if you can decide to commit, at the same time you do that, you AUTOMATICALLY aquire the power to un-commit, should that become necessary.
If you can say "Yes." to marriage, you can also say, "Yes." to divorce, or "No, no more of this," should it come to it.
It's exactly THE SAME POWER which makes both decisions.
This is completely true; check it out for yourself with real life examples of people you know.
I met a man the other day who couldn't get out of the relationship he was in, because actually, he had never made the commitment to enter into it. He was railroaded into it by his now wife; she made decision to start the marriage.
He was completely powerless and remained in that no-man's land of indecision and is still in it to this day.
He met another woman and would have loved to leave his wife and his unhappy marriage but was incapable of doing so - he was POWERLESS.
He'll never get out of that marrriage now unless he finds it in himself to make a decision and a commitment to his own sanity and happiness; or, if his wife "lets him go" finally.
And that's not going to happen in a hurry ...
So this is our lesson.
As long as you remain in the no-man's land of indecision and powerlessness, you are nothing but a VICTIM of circumstance. People will seize upon your fear and weakness to make all kinds of commitments on your behalf. And these are usually in THEIR best interest, and not in yours.
If you pick up your own power and make a decision, make a commitment, you IMMEDIATELY, and INSTANTLY, and as a complete side effect of that power ALSO INHERIT THE POWER TO UN-COMMIT at any time - and that is FREEDOM.
Instead of being trapped forever, you are free.
Free to change your mind, free to revoke your commitment, free to walk away.
Making commitments is a POWERFUL and FORWARD MOVING thing to do.
Do not and never be afraid of it.
It gets you out from endless worry and powerlessness, gives you back your destiny, and allows you to have all sorts of fun experiences along the way that the ditherers and fearful ones will NEVER have.
Remember: It isn't the things you did that you regret on your death bed, but instead, the things you didn't do.
And with every commitment, every decision you make, and un-make, re-make, re-voke, expand, extend as well, your PERSONAL POWER will grow.
Here's to commitment!
Silvia Hartmann
http://SilviaHartmann.com
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